Finding  yourself  can  lead  to many  different conversations,  perspectives , and  opinions. When  you  hear  someone  ask  who  are  you, you  usually  think  who  you  are  on  the outside, you  most  likely  would  answer saying  that  you  are  a young adult going to school and you’re  studying  a  particular  major ,  nothing  more , nothing less. That being said, when we are  asked  who  we are , looking  deep  inside yourself  and  questioning who you really are as an individual  and  your  purpose may be  out of the question. Identities change over time , what you were  at  two, you  are  not  going to be  at 12 and who you are at 12 is going to  change when you  are  22 years old . We  all  feel  and  experience  different  emotions  as  we  grow  and form  different  opinions  through  time . My  name  is  Sophia  Pettaway , and  I  am  an artist.

     Growing  up, I never embraced my identity ,  I was never proud of it  . I was in a school where little to no people that looked  like  me  were  there , and when I  was  around people that worked  similar to me, I felt  often  judged because  of  my  Neurodivergent circumstances. I  am on  the  autism  spectrum . Being a Neurodivergent  black girl , you have a lot of people from a  lot  of  different  directions  telling  you  what and  what not to do . “Don’t  do that , It’s too much ,  you’re  loud , you’re  smart, but  you  don’t  work  hard enough  which  makes you lazy , oh, my Lord every week you’re having a new hairstyle.” The  more  these  certainn things  were said  to  me  the  more I  began  to  realize  that  this  is  a  pattern ,  a partially  racially, motivated , and overall  rude  pattern .  It wasn’t until my mom realized that I could sing where things started  to  change . As a little girl, I always sang in the car. I made up these songs on the dot and would  just tweet like a bird . The  first  time my mom tried to enroll me in vocal lessons , I threw a major  tantrum because  we  literally just drove by the place and she claimed  that she had to stop to just ask a question. From  my  point  of  view , how  dare  you  not  let  me  know  you’re  going  to  do this before ? You  don’t  just  do  something  out  of  the  blue  like  that ,  let me know first . The second time we came back to the studio , it  went surprisingly  well and I was preparing  a  solo  that  I was going  to  sing  at  church.

     Once I started singing more and getting more comfortable being around people in that way, my mom put me in a performing arts camp for the summer. Little did I know that I will be calling that  place  home  for  the next ten years , I took every class you could imagine . I took dance,  chorus, painting and  drawing , nature , and more . The amount of performances I had made my mom run around like a chicken with no head . Ironically , she was a dance mom  more in the summer than in the winter , only  because I hated my mom going up to my school. Even though I was comfortable with  the stage now, I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to do this as a career. It was not until my first school musical , “ thoroughly modern Millie” , where it was a  sealed  deal . I fell  in love with the process , the long rehearsals, the  friends  you make , the  music, rehearsals, the dance rehearsals . What stood out for me more was the little things by talking when you’re not supposed to ,  dancing  in  the  dressing  room  when  you  were supposed to be in your costume by now . The  good  and bad days coming together in a beautiful show with everyone in sync was mesmerizing . Making  the  audience  feel  good  and  forget  about  their  problems  was also a big thing for me as well . 

        Due to my intentse upbringing, making bad choices, and getting punished with something that I did not take lightly . When I was  on punishment, I felt something heavy sitting on my chest. Whenever I made a choice I shouldn’t have specifically as a child , I felt  the same depression and stress similar to somebody who did not pay their bills on time, if you know that feeling, then you can understand where I’m coming from . That being said, I went  to see how the Grinch stole Christmas at Madison Square Garden , seven years old  and I was literally in another world. I forgot my bad deeds, and I remembered that the world does  not  end and sometimes  , it just feels like it does , I felt hope , I felt peace , and I craved to  give that feeling to hundreds of other people who deal with what I dealt with and ten times more . In 2023, we as a society forget  how special it is for people to help other people , we lost a sense of community . 

         After thoroughly  modern  Millie, I got cast  in the little mermaid in my eighth grade year, while looking at performing arts high schools to audition for . I  auditioned  for  LaGuardia, Frank Sinatra, school of the arts, and  Murrow  High  school  . What usually is a sad day for eighth grade students, was a very happy day for me. I didn’t really know much  about  Frank Sinatra until I opened up my acceptance letter , and I did my research . A big tall pretty building in Astoria , with Starbucks right across the street , as a 13-year-old girl that’s a dream. Once I started my academic journey there , it did become a challenge. you faced competition on a daily with people who are just as talented as you or even more , I had teachers that pushed me and molded me on days that I did not even want to get out of bed, they expected perfection, and as they should. That being said, the performing arts definitely enhanced my English and language experience . I hated reading, growing up, whatever my dad told me to go read I always saw it as a punishment . Once I started high school and I began to understand the rhythm and the people that I was around, I was influenced to change my vocabulary. I always said words like ain’t , imma , finna , didn’t , and I fell in love with the beauty of taking your time, and not slapping words up together, just because it is easier . I see English as  storytelling , and to me, storytelling is a form of creative expression . You are also in another world when you are reading a book that you enjoy or reading somebody else’s story , you are not in your world, you are in there’s.  

          Trap this all in a pretty Christmas bow , I would like to go back to the topic of finding yourself. It is okay  if you still don’t know who you are and your purpose on this planet, if you want to know what your purpose is  that’s honestly good enough because it shows that you care and you want to contribute . Everyone has a different point in their life where their identity and their purpose is revealed to them , enjoy the sequence of events, and enjoy life , there is  a reason that you don’t know who you are yet  . Maybe you have to go through a few more chapters for you to understand , As well-known music artist H.E.R states “it’s the journey” . After being  questioned  by  many  people  throughout  the years, I also now know  that if someone is annoyed, because you are different, that should be confirmation to stay who you are, and to not change  . That  is easier said than done , but they are upset because they are unfamiliar with you not because your existence is wrong , be different and enjoy the process of finding yourself . 

By Sophia  Pettaway  

Freshman Composition 

James Buchanan 

  CCNY  student  ,  Nitema  Sylvester   wrote  a  narrative  titled  “Being  in  solitude”  explaining  her  social  experiences  as  a  young  child  ,  and  strongly  supporting her claim  to  why  she  sees  the  beauty  of  being  alone  rather  than  having  friends  like  her  other  peers , she  highlights  the  importance  of  being  your  own  friend  and  not  lean  on  external  forces  ,  I  was  convinced  that  her  claim  was  supported  by  things  not  said  in  this  essay  such  as  the  behavior  and  actions  that  are  made  and supported  by  today’s  society . Nitema  uses  rhetorical  strategies  that  catch  the   audience’s  attention  and  uses  them  to  make  her  story  understandable  and  relatable . The  style  of  her  writing  is  very informative  but  also emotional  and  non  automated , the  feeling  and  reactions behind  the  story  was  definitely  colorful as  this  piece  of work  was  being  read  . 

        In  her   narrative ,  Sylvester  addresses  the  oxymoron-like  pleasure  of  having  very   little  company  around . She  explains  how  she  was  always  asked  why  she  did  not  have  friends  and  why  she  didn’t  find  them  important  to  have . I asked  in  our  interview  what  her  requirements  were  to  keep  someone  as  her  friend  and  she  said  that  trust  is  one  of  the  most , if  not  the  most  important  quality  to have  in  any  friendship  that  she  would  want  to  keep . Nitema  makes  it  very  simplistic  for  the  audience  to  picture  themselves  and  her  situation , the audience does  not  have  a  difficult  time  understanding  the  why . She  particularly  uses  the rhetorical  device  of  pathos  through  describing  herself  – “I have black and brown coils , dreamy  dark  skin , super slim tall , and  sparkly  white  teeth .” In  addition she adds “ Being  Anica  is  challenging  when  you  look  like  me  going  to  a predominantly Asian  school .” Nitema  is  not  convincing   , she  is    just  stating   

her  truth . 

          The  nineteen  year  old  college  student  emphasizes  a  circumstance  she  went  through   with  a  close  friend  of  hers  she  made  in  school ,  Collin . In  her writing she  describes  their  friendship  deeper  than  how  most  individuals  describe  their friends  , she  felt  that  he  understood  him  better  than  others . “I always went to him  whenever  I  needed  help  with  math  homework  because while that was my weakest subject  ,  that  was  his  strongest  subject . We  always  had  opposites  of  each  other .” However , she  explains  in  an  event  in  her  friendship  with  him where  he  hung  out  with  peers  that  participated  in  illegal  activity  and  his  pride took  over  , she  admits  that  it  helped  her  see  the  power  of  loving  yourself  and  not  caring  for  outside  validation . “He was a great friend, but he didn’t realize that I was just helping him .He helped me discover that being by yourself isn’t  so bad when you love yourself .” The  rhetorical strategy of  ethos  can be seen when she  tells  the  audience  how  Collin’s  ego  helped  her  see  the  importance  of  marching  to  the  beat  of  your  own  drum  and  listening  to others’ opinions  of  you . 

           After  reading  her  narrative , I  was  eager  to find  out  her  views  on  the society that we live in  and her opinion on  other  well  known  opinions   . Nitema  is  a  political  science  major  , she  already  studies  major  events  that  take  place  every  day  and  I  strongly  know  for  a  fact  that  she  has opinions  about  each  and  every one  of  them . In our interview , I asked  what  her  positive  and  negative  opinions  are  about  today’s  society . She replies agreeing  with  the  opinion  that  we  accept  more   lifestyles , appearances , sexual preferences  , and  more . Therefore , she  also agrees  that  we  are  too  accepting  of  anything  that  we  see  and  have  dramatically lowered  our  standards   , this  can  be  personal  standards  or  the  things  that  we  see in the world .  Another con that she shared was how people can act too feminist . JFor example, if a  woman  were  to  brag  about  cheating  or  wear  inappropriate  clothing  nobody  would  say  anything  , but  if  a  man  did  it , it  would  then  be  suddenly problematic , I  also asked  her  what  made  her  choose  her  specific  major  and  she  said  that  she  enjoys  traveling  but  while  she  traveled  she  wanted  to  make  a difference  . Nitema’s  major  is  political  science  ,  which  dives  into  the political  circumstances  and  the  consequences  that  others  have  to  bear  because of the  choices  that  our  government  and  congress  makes . Her  writing  communicates  the  many  questionable  topics  and  priorities  that  the  world  we  live  in  have  . 

        The  way  Nitema  developed  this  piece  of  work  was  through  honesty  and  her  honesty  was  beyond  convincing  because  she  did  not  attempt  to  catch  our eye  but  instead  just  told  her  story .  I  strongly  believe  the  only  rhetorical devices  that  were  used  in  her  essay  were  ethos  and  pathos . Ethos  is  the emotions  of  a  speaker  or  writer  that  are  expressed  in  the  attempt  to  persuade an  audience . Throughout  her  essay , she  shared  the  events  that  happened  to her  , and  how  it  made  her  feel . She  also  explained  how  her  feelings  helped  her  realize  the  theme  of  her  essay  which  was  the  importance of  being  satisfied  in solitude . The  rhetorical   device  of  pathos  is  to  persuade  an  audience by purposefully  evoking  certain  emotions  to  make  the  audience  feel  how  the  author wants  them  to  feel  . In  the  beginning  of  this  essay  , particularly  when  she  described  her  experience  with  making  friends  ,  she  gave  her  honest  opinion on why  she  was  not  interested  and  supported  it  by  how  we  as young  people  are  not  the  best  at  committing  to  relationships  of  all  degrees . In her essay it  reads “Anytime  I  let  anybody  in  my  life  they  always  find  a  way  to  step  out ,” She  made  a  text  to world  connection  in  this  and  made it  relatable  to this  younger  generation  ,  considering  what  we  see  and  experience  through  the media  and  our  experiences  with  one  another  as  peers . 

Sophia Pettaway 

Javid  Buchanan 

Freshman Composition 

November 8th 2023 

                                    Are we hard to teach or just not want to be taught ?

   The  ring  of  an  alarm  at  five  am  on  a  Monday   is  not  great  for  anyone . For  many  children  and  young  adults  , this  often   symbolizes  the  time   for  school  ,  most  individuals  who  get  up  for  school  are  annoyed  , not  wanting  to  be  around  topics  that  don’t  interest  them  and  don’t want   get  up  that  early . However , for  others  it  can  be  much  more  complicated  and  complex . Being  a  student  with  a  learning  disability  flips  your  whole  world  upside  down  , literally  and  figuratively . Throughout  this  past  decade and  more  , the  diagnosis  of  neurological  conditions  have  heightened  ,  particularly   Autism  Spectrum  Disorder  .  Autism  is  a  different  ability  that  is  often  not  simple  to  understand  by  the  neurotypical  mind  and  the  education  system  has  curriculum  that  often  makes  autistic  individuals  not  heard  nor  understood  . Through  many  years ,   children  and  families  of  individuals who  have  autism  have  expressed  lack  of   support  and  their  needs  not  met in  the  education system . Therefore ,  it  is  possible,  and  there  are  multiple  ways  that  people  with  autism  can  excel  and  be  supported  in  the  academic  community . A  lot of  neurodivergent kids skate by  school  and Judy   attempt  to  pass  , the  people  around  them  can  definitely  help that  change  that  by  knowing  how  they  feel  and  being  equipped  with  the  proper  tools  and knowledge . 

     Supporting  students  with  autism  in  the  classroom  : what  teachers  need  to  know  by    

Beth  Saggers  ,  dives  into  the  topic  of  educating  children  with  autism  and  the  insecurities  and  possible  fears  that  parents  and  educators  feel  when  neurotypical  students  walk  into  the  classroom , expected  to  learn  .  The  article  narrates  a  survey  that  was  given  to  see  what  educators  could  do  to  ease  both  parents  and  neurodivergent students’ experience . “They  suggested  that  it  would  be  useful  if  teachers  could  help  them  cope  with  change  and  transition  by  simply  reminding  them  when  a  change  is  looming.” In  an  autistic  person’s  mind , when  a  change  suddenly  happens , it  can  feel  like  an  emergency  and  during  an  emergency  ,  it  can  be  complex to  problem  solve  because  your  brain   is  in  fight  or  flight . “A  lack  of  social-emotional  competence  can  lead  to  a  decrease  in  a  student’s  connection  with  school ,  but  also  academic  performance.”  Poor  academic  performance  is  heavily  caused  by  low  motivation . Another  circumstance  that  educators  fail  to  remember  is  that  autistic  individuals  all  have  different  strengths  . “Schools  also  need  to  be  careful  to  not  run  the  risk  of  over generalizing  as  students  with  autism  can  be  different  from  each  other  as  any  other  students.” 

             Supporting  and  encouraging  Neurodivergent  minds  goes  beyond  the  educators  and  the  peers  , parents  play  a  major  role  in  this  process , like  any  other  children , autistic   minds  are  sponges ,  It  should   go  both  directions  to  help  all and  more  students  . How  schools  can  support  Neurodiverse  students  by  Juliann  Garey  offers  multiple  ways  that  parents   and  educators  can work together and   both  help  out  and  assist  differently  minded  students  in  order  to  receive  the  best  education  that  properly  fits their  child . Neurodivergent  students  often  struggle  with  executive  functioning  skills , such  as  planning  , organizing  , and  prioritizing . In  the  classroom  this  can  look  like , forgetting  to  do  homework  , disorganized  papers , missing  items , and  more . “Some  specific  executive   functioning  tools  teachers  might  implement  are  checklists  for everything  from  morning  routine  to  what  goes  into  kids  backpacks  everyday , dedicated binders  for  each  subject , and  reward  systems  (like  a  sticker  chart)  for  younger  kids 

.”  In  addition , the  article  also  opens  the  topic  about  creating  a  safe  space  for neurodivergent  people  to  feel  comfortable  enough  to  make  friends and  peer  connections .  “As  a  result  schools  need  to  be  proactive  about  creating  layers  of social  scaffolding to  support  those  kids .  That  starts  in  the  classroom  with  creating  a  community  where  we’re  accepting  of  everybody’s  differences , says  Dr.Martin . When  teachers  talk  about diversity , they  can  include  neurodiversity  in  that  discussion .”  Discussions  about neurodiversity  happens  rarely  in  fear  of  incorrect  information  or uncomfortable feelings but  it’s  important  those  discussions  happen  in  order  for  everyone  to  understand  each  other  and  to  also  get  to  know  their  peers  more  intimately , it  can  also  be  an  aid  for  neurotypical  students  to  see  neurodiverse  individuals  as  honest  individuals  and  not  anything  less  than  that .

            The  process  to  create  an   emotional  , safe  , and  effective  learning  space  for  everyone  of  all neurological  statuses  does  not  apply only  to   physical  hands on   strategies  ,  but  to gain  a  better  understanding  of  what  exactly  a  neurodivergent  student  could  be thinking  and  their  thinking  process  in  order  to  help  them  as  well  . For example , Non  neurotypical  students  like  to  question  things  to  have  a  better  understanding  of  why  certain  tasks  are  necessary  and  also  to  be  motivated  to  follow  instruction . When  they  question  authority  about  why  they  have  to  do  what  they  were instructed or  the  given  task , this  can  come  off  as  offensive  and   disrespectful . Why  is  ADHD/Autism  easily  misunderstood  by  Anne  Snoep  perfectly  highlights  these  circumstances . “You  can  imagine  that  on  the  work  floor , this  can  be  confusing  too  as  we  do  not  mean  we  are  not  agreeing  with  your  choices , we  just  need  more  information .” These  kinds  of  misunderstandings  also  introduce  another  topic  that  particularly  older  and  higher  functioning  neurodivergent  individuals  do  in  order  to  avoid  negative  reactions , a lot  of  older  neurodivergent  people  mask  or  also  called  masking . Masking  is  often  done  in  this  community  to  hide  our  unique  traits  in  order  to  stay away  from  peoples  opinions  and  painful  misunderstandings . This  is  done often in adolescence  in  order to  fit  in  and to not   come across  as  negatively  peculiar . “But  because  neurodivergent  people  are  in  the  minority , people  expect  a  certain  way  of  communicating . It  takes  energy  and  involves  “masking” meaning  that  a  neurodivergent individual  can  hide  their  ADHD/Autism characteristics  or  is  trying  to  hide  them.” Any educator  should  not  want  any  students  to  work  more  hard  than  others  over  something they  cannot  control  ,  as obvious as this may sound ,  all  differences  and  different  approaches  should  be  embraced  and  analyzed  in  a  positive  light . 

           It is often  believed  that  in  order  to  gain  empathy and  knowledge for something you  may  not  be  familiar  with , learning  the history  of  any  topic can  be  more  than  helpful , facts  can  only  give  you  so   much  if  you  are  not  educated  on  the  history  and  the  evolution .  Decades  ago , countless  people  with  neurodivergent  conditions  were  put  in  group  homes  and  mental  health  asylums  when  the  outside  world  did  not  know  what  to  do  and  handle  certain  behaviors  of  that  nature .  Although  individuals with autism  are  still  being  institutionalized  ,  many  institutions  have  shifted  their  focus  from intervention  to  meeting  differently  abled  people  where  they  are  and  the  importance of celebrating  and  embracing . “How to accept  and  Embrace  Autism in  your  life ”  By Dr.  Allen  Shrug  teaches  how  to  learn  ,  accept  ,  and  navigate  the  beautiful  challenge  of  autism  in  your  life  , whether  you  have  it  , or  learning  about  it  through  someone  else . “There  are  many  stories  of  individuals  with  autism  that  lead  incredibly  successful  lives , from  the  business world  to  Hollywood  . Focus  on  your  unique  qualities  and  use  them  to  your  advantage .”  Educators  in  the  school  system  need  to  continue  to  stop  seeing  neurodivergent  students  as  a  challenging  task  or  a  headache  and  need  to  see  them  and what  they  may  have  as  a  special  ability  and  or  a  superpower . Students  with  autism  and  more  can  process  more  information  , and   notice  things  that  neurotypical  students may  miss  in  a  heartbeat .  

     Autism  is  a  special  ability  that  people  don’t  understand  and  we  as  people  are  mentally  programmed  to  believe  that  anything  we  don’t  understand  is  immediately  negative  and    frustrating .  From  Personal  experience  ,  educators  would get  frustrated  with  me  when  I  would  get  low  scores  on  assignments  simply  because  they  did  not  know  or  have  a  full  understanding  of   what  was  going  on  in  my  head . Many  people  who  are  neurodivergent  don’t  go  into school  with  academics  as  a  priority , a  lot  of  us  are  not  students  first  ,  some  of  us  are  artists and  creators  first  and  if  we  don’t  connect  to something  or  happen  to  not  see  how  what  we’re  learning  is  relatable  to  our  future  , it  will  be  harder  for  us  to  be  motivated  to  complete  the  material  , we  don’t  see the  reward

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